Okay, now check this sequence of shots out. Here's Blade. (Hi, Blade.) This is how Blade typcially enters your every day bloodsoaked techno parlor full of hellspawn...
First, he steps up to the splatterzone, specifically to someone on the floor. That way, they have to look up to see him, and from that vantage point, his Coolness is multiplied by a factor of three. Notice he doesn't actually get a single drop of blood on his shiny leather gams.
Now we tilt up.. but not to his face. Just his massive, brick-wall-esque chest, covered by -- yes! -- MORE black leather. And what's more, it's ARMORED black leather, with a tough-ass looking metal clasp to hold it on. Also note the requisite trenchcoat, always a symbol of lone outcasts, psychos, violent... err. (This comment is ending right now, as it has recently stopped being a funny observation and started being an uncomfortable reminder of recent events...)
Finally, we see his face, while vampires wave their limbs in sinusodal patterns and run around in fear. But notice we don't really see his FACE; we see a shadow draped over those hard-as-nails, you-can't-see-my-eyes sunglasses.
Okay, after that he advances in a menacing fashion, with his footsteps amplified to the point where those of you with superior sound systems may start to develop structural damage. All the vampires just sort of hiss and hang back and not do anything, which is smart. Then one of them shouts 'Let's get him!' which is not smart.
Because,
as you see, vampires are about as durable as a wet napkin. All you need to do
is .. well... it's never totally clear. Throughout the movie, some of them get
staked, some just get shot with bullets, some just get punched.. but invaraibly
they end up like this, decomposing on the fly better than the Ebola virus. Even
the ones who weren't technically killed tend to do this, especially in the last
reel -- or they explode into a bloody mess, but we'll be getting to that later.
In detail. Possibly with animation.
So
he's slashing, he's shooting, he's kicking.. most of them are wisely getting
the hell out of there, except for the various thugs and minions whose singular
purpose in life is to be slaughtered en masse by Blade. But he's a diversified
slayer, as you can see by this... thing he's holding up. And just look at that
happy grin! He likes his job! He likes it very MUCH, yes sir! I'd personally
like to know where I can get a twisted bit of sharp metal that can miraculously
slash three heads off in a row and return to your hand without proceeding to
lop it off at the wrist. Presumably they're available in some shadowy aisle
of Toys R Us where all the recalled toys that cause a child to burst into flame
or lose an eye are kept.
Reminds me of a Mad Magazine parody of Batman, where the Joker goes 'Where does he get those wonderful toys?' and one of the minions says, 'Boss, you can get that shit at any toy store.' Well, he probably didn't say shit. But you get the idea. That means I just ripped the joke off semi-blatantly, didn't I? Well, whatever. Blade has finished kicking ass and it's time to slow the film way the hell down, so sit back and relax, dammit.